Author Topic: Some "Pipe" humor  (Read 7659 times)

Offline Bernd

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Some "Pipe" humor
« on: April 01, 2009, 10:23:46 AM »
I picked the following up on Russ Keplers engineering list. Jan-Eric is a well reconized writter on steam engines in Finland and has had several engine building articles published in Live Steam & Out Door Railroading.
I thought this very humorus and thought I pass it on.

Regards,
Bernd




Friends,


In these techological days, we must all remember always to use the proper materials.

Here are the very important specifications for Live Steam pipes:


Piping Specification 200.90.40.1 :
 
1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal centered around the hole.

2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length.

3. All pipe is to be of the very best quality, preferably tubular or pipular.

4. All acid-proof pipe is to be made of acid-proof material.

5. O.D. of all pipe must exceed the I.D. Otherwise the hole will be on the
outside of the pipe. (However, if the outside diameter is smaller than the
inside diameter, this will make the hole easier to clean and polish.)

6. All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole so that water, steam or
other stuff can be put inside at a later date.

7. All pipe is to be supplied free of rust, as this can be more readily put on at the jobsite.

8. All pipe is to be free of any covering such as mud, tar, barnacles or any form
of manure before putting up, otherwise it will cause lumps under the paint.

9. All pipe over 100 feet in length must have the words ?Long Pipe? clearly
painted on each end so that the fitter will know that it is long pipe.

10. Pipe over 200 feet in length must also have these words painted in the
middle so that the fitter will not have to walk the full length of pipe to
determine if it is long pipe or not.

11. All pipe over six inches in diameter is to have the words ?Large Pipe?
painted on it so that the fitter will not use it for small pipe.

12. All pipe fittings are to be made of the same size of hole as the pipe.

13. All pipe caps are to have the hole in the end facing the pipe,
but must be closed on the other end. Beware of caps that are the made the wrong way around! (About half of them are.)


--
Jan-Eric Nystrom, animator, ferroequinologist
Helsinki, Finland
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Offline PTsideshow

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2009, 01:09:41 PM »
Yep Great stuff, he is a regular daily contributor of the magazines railroad  live steam site.
http://bbs.livesteam.net/ubbs/Ultimate.cgi
glen
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and I'm working on the first two!
glen

Offline Bernd

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2009, 04:57:45 PM »
Glen,

I'm quite impressed with his knowledge and build skills of model steam engines.

Bernd
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Offline Divided he ad

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2009, 01:39:40 PM »
Well I suppose that could be called humour.....? I thought most of it to be very sound advice!

Most of this will be well referenced when ordering some pipe/tubing for my aeolipile  :thumbup:






Ralph.
I know what I know and need to know more!!!

Offline Bernd

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #4 on: April 02, 2009, 07:47:27 PM »

Most of this will be well referenced when ordering some pipe/tubing for my aeolipile  :thumbup:


I'm wondering what the aeolipile would look like with a hole on the outside of the pipe?  :lol:  :lol:

Bernd  :ddb:
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Offline Darren

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #5 on: April 02, 2009, 08:19:57 PM »
I'm just wondering what the aeolipile looks like  :ddb: :ddb: :ddb:
You will find it a distinct help… if you know and look as if you know what you are doing. (IRS training manual)

Offline Bernd

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #6 on: April 03, 2009, 08:42:34 AM »
I'm just wondering what the aeolipile looks like  :ddb: :ddb: :ddb:
:lol:     :lol:     :lol:     :lol:

Do you mean Ralphs or just what one looks like?

Bernd

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Offline Darren

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #7 on: April 03, 2009, 08:49:35 AM »
I mean Ralphs,

Been so long since we've seen it  :lol:

Just pullin' on ya Ralph....... :poke:
You will find it a distinct help… if you know and look as if you know what you are doing. (IRS training manual)

Offline Divided he ad

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #8 on: April 03, 2009, 12:25:40 PM »
Well if it's  :poke:  you want to start..... We could reference back to the valve amplifier!!   ::)

(definitely need a tongue pulling smiley!    :offtopic:  will do too!!  :) )



In answer to that sharp pointy stick....  I'm getting there.... Honest!! 
I'm trying to work hard all day and since I can pretty much do as I please as long as I can afford it, I like filling my spare time of evenings and weekends out with friends, pool, snooker and the likes. Now and again I get an evening in the shop, the way of the young(ish) single guy ehh!   :thumbup: 

All good things and all that!  (I have made 90% of the tubing bender to aid in the aeolipile build!  :dremel: )





Ralph.  :ddb:

I know what I know and need to know more!!!

Offline Darren

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #9 on: April 03, 2009, 12:38:32 PM »
Well if it's  :poke:  you want to start..... We could reference back to the valve amplifier!!   ::)


You already did, I'm just getting my own back Ralph..... :ddb:


Bin ard day at work has it  :lol:
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Offline Divided he ad

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #10 on: April 03, 2009, 01:19:28 PM »
Quote
You already did, I'm just getting my own back Ralph.....


Yer I know.... But I figured if it's worth saying once....!   :)


Quote
Bin ard day at work has it   :lol:

Well since you asked....




YES!!!



So 'arder day that I got in, turned on my computer and promptly fell asleep until my hand fell off the desk and I dropped the mouse and woke myself up!!  :doh:   


Still, point taken.... Leaving all you guys wondering for some time now ehh?



Soon I will find that spark of inspiration and have a push on the project front   :med:   



Ralph.
I know what I know and need to know more!!!

bogstandard

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #11 on: April 03, 2009, 01:32:28 PM »
I don't think I have any open projects, so I think it is safe to give both Darren & Ralph a big

 :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke:

and also a little

 :wack: :wack: :wack: :wack: :wack: :wack: :wack: :wack:

and to finish off

 :hammer: :hammer: :hammer: :hammer:


Bogs

Offline Bernd

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #12 on: April 03, 2009, 09:24:21 PM »
       :lol:     :lol:     :lol:     :lol:
 :whip:  Boy Bogs, you can be mean when you want to eh? :whip:

 :ddb: Bernd  :ddb:
« Last Edit: April 03, 2009, 09:26:26 PM by Bernd »
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Offline usn ret

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #13 on: April 05, 2009, 03:42:59 AM »
Specification #13 is for the other end of the empty hole!  :wack:
Cliff
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bogstandard

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #14 on: April 05, 2009, 04:00:04 AM »
Ralph,

Quote
Soon I will find that spark of inspiration and have a push on the project front

I know exactly how you feel.  :med:

I can sit in the shop for an hour, waiting for the inspiration to pull my finger out from you know where, and get the 1 minute drilled hole job done.  :coffee:

Then it is back to sitting down, and contemplating the next hole to drill.  :coffee:

Other days, I am looking for holes to drill  :dremel:


Bogs

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #15 on: April 05, 2009, 12:15:32 PM »
Well you see it's like this..... (warning.... very, very  :offtopic: )


Busy working again all day yesterday!! Proper money earning work in the morning and then fixing my dads car till late in the evening.

Got out of the house this morning to go wandering through the hills... Make the most of that yellow shiny thing in the sky!!  (filled my boots with pine needles and other vegitation ::) )

Then I have a pool match tonight I might be out till gone 10pm!...... Where did I find the time to make stuff???


I will get some done, it's just a case of having the time as well as having the motivation at the same time!




And as for  :poke:  :wack:  :hammer:  .......  :ddb:   (still need a tongue out smiley  :lol: )



Ralph.

I know what I know and need to know more!!!

Offline Rog02

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #16 on: April 10, 2009, 10:43:58 PM »

Most of this will be well referenced when ordering some pipe/tubing for my aeolipile  :thumbup:


I'm wondering what the aeolipile would look like with a hole on the outside of the pipe?  :lol:  :lol:

Bernd  :ddb:

I do believe a pipe with the hole surrounding the outer circumference is referred to as a rod. :poke:

Yep, I am back! 
Roger
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Offline Bernd

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Re: Some "Pipe" humor
« Reply #17 on: April 11, 2009, 11:22:25 AM »
Nice to have you back Rog.

I take it the "BIG" project is all done and you'll be finishing that steam engine you started.  :poke:

Just had to say that. :lol:

Bernd

P.S. Edited. I got the wrong Rog. I was thinking rleete not Rog02. (The day started out bad. I burned my omlet)
« Last Edit: April 11, 2009, 03:50:06 PM by Bernd »
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